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Brace yourself to take a deep dive of my thoughts which involve different waves of emotions. I rarely write these days. Partly because I try hard not to embrace my inner demon and also I have my other online diary which happens to be my twitter. Here is when I wish to write more than 140 characters. I ain't no Lang Leav, but we sure share the same emotions. ;) email me at najmiezamrose@yahoo.com

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

This heart wont pretend :)

Just so you know Im not the type of girl who goes from one boy to another for a real relationship. Im the type of girl who smiles to everyone no matter what gender you are as long as you are being nice to me. I dont go for real relationship in early knowing. In fact I wont bother to have a boyfriend for now. What Im looking for is to have real good friends which I would like to keep them forever. Seriously I have no intention to flirt with anyone right now and Im prefer to be friends with everyone including boys. I cant bare to pretend to like someone that Im not into just because sympathy. Lets keep things simple. You say hi to me and yeah I will say hi to you in return.  Dont put high hopes for me. I maybe look like into you but dont be surprise if one day I said you are just like my close friends. I dont play anyone's feelings or have the intention to hurt anyone. I just like to go with the flow. Lets see how far can I be without a special boy in my life. As for now I have no problems with that just sometimes I do get jealous looking at other couple's pictures. But hey someday I will find someone so for now Im still okay being with friends :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Once in a life time

well for those who already know about my spine surgery, nothing much to say. Im in healing process and by now I should have lots of rest . soon I'll be back in Uitm and there are lots of stuffs to catch. I mean studies and assignments. but then for now I can barely do any reading since I cant even duck or turn my body around. there is not much pain on the spine but it is a lot of pain on the chest . maybe its because of muscles cramp and all. The surgery took 6 hours and I was leaning on my chest for 6 hours with all the machines . thanks God I was unconscious and everything went well. It was so hard to open my eyes for the two days after the operation. Oh well it was a whole new experience for me. the nurses were nice and I was in a single room so yeah it was okay I guess. when people come I just say hi and sleep. cant do much anyway. For now all I want to do is recover and get my ass back on track in Uitm. I dont want to skip any sem. Please God make me the strongest person on earth :) Insyallah I will see you people in Lendu :)

Friday, June 3, 2011

Be strong and spirit will comes along :)

In life you just have to be strong
you have to live your own life with your own feet
Have the courage to make changes in yourself
Dont listen too much from others
Life is all about standing on your own feet
Once you fall you just have to back up
Dont easily give up
Insyallah you can do it :)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Maybe Im more to the boyish side :)

 Jimmeh and Iman <3

Anis . Hannah . Booyah <3

I guess Im just better off with boys compared to girls. and thats the reason why Im a lil bit more boyish even when I wear girls attire :) I just can easily talk to boys friends and they actually always got my back and understand my situation. But that doesnt mean I cant talk to my girls friends. Its just that they are not as easy to talk to . There are always argument over every topic and disagreement at the end.  Im tired of those situation and if possible I just want to avoid that by just keep quite and listen to my type of music. Music indeed a very calming method . whatever it is I wont judge my girls either my boys. I just love them equally and I dont lie about that :) 

choke those words and never look back

next time whenever or wherever you see me you will be surprise to see the complete different of me. If thats what you want then it shall be happen :) still remember the words you told me? they still lingering in my mind and one day you wont get away and you have to complete all those promises you made. I' ll be waiting for the actual date when I can actually meet you again and let you see how people can change by times . thats all for now. till then.

bare this in mind !

It is so pathetic when your own friend cant accept the fact that you are not comfortable with the relationship she is having with someone that used to be close with you. and now that person never talk to you just because a silly reason. Its hard to explain something that they dont face it their self. the best that just listen to your own best friend. honestly I wont stop you do anything you want except if its bother me a lot ! seriously Im not the type of person who talk behind your back neither talk bad things about my own friend to the other friends . I just want you as my own friend understand the situation  Im facing now. Its not that hard you know or you want to face it only then you will know what it feels like ay ? no please never wish you are in my situation. It is such a disappointment when you have to face this. I love my friend and I never want to stop them from doing anything they want. but please for this time just for this time try to understand. If other people can see the complication why cant you ?