Owned By

My photo
Malaysia
Brace yourself to take a deep dive of my thoughts which involve different waves of emotions. I rarely write these days. Partly because I try hard not to embrace my inner demon and also I have my other online diary which happens to be my twitter. Here is when I wish to write more than 140 characters. I ain't no Lang Leav, but we sure share the same emotions. ;) email me at najmiezamrose@yahoo.com

Monday, May 27, 2013

Yet, another story of my life

Hello everyone,

So yeahhhhhh, I like to write during the loneliest hours after everyone has dozed off and before everyone wakes up. In between, I'm all by myself doing random stuffs like writing entries, drawing and oh yea,...exercising (simple cardio). I really enjoy my personal space and I hate it when someone doesn't respect my simple request.

Most of the time, I prefer to be alone and let my thoughts just wonder around freely. I don't know why I'm so comfortable sitting alone at one corner doing my own work in front of my desk. I do mingle around but only with certain people. Maybe I'm just too afraid of being too vulnerable to everyone. I don't know..I can't tell. Many times I remind myself not to let my unstable emotions take over me. It should be the other way around.

Few days back when I was in train for almost everyday, I've seen so many types of person I never thought exist in life. There were times I wish I can write a song, I'll express every single feelings I have thru the lyrics of the songs. Unfortunately I'm not that lucky enough to come out with lyrics about story of my life. It seems that nowadays people don't see you the way I still see a person. But yet, Im still inspired with what I've seen lately. Too many scenes I've witnessed. Some reflects me and some just something I couldn't be bothered.    

For now that will be all. Thanks for spending some time reading my little thought rant/ Sorry for having to bear with it. Peace/love (:

Monday, May 20, 2013

Morning Remedy (:

"It's so hard to talk or explain something when
 you can't find the right words to put as sentence.
 That's above and beyond everything else and
 it's not a mental complaint-
 it's a personal thing.
 Exactly the same like it's physically hard to
 open your mouth and
 make the words come out. 
In my case, words don't come out smoothly and
 in conjunction with the brain as normal people's words do. 
They come out in chunks as if
 from a crushed-ice dispenser,
 you stumble upon on them as they gather behind your lower lips.
 The last thing you could do is just keep quiet."

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Another empty letter


"Knowing you is more than enough but to not knowing you I think is better"

Sounds familiar to you? NO? oh well it does to me. The person I don't want to be around with is the person I got to see the most. Mostly every single f* day. Some people they just come for a while and disappear like they were never exist but some they just stay even when you think they are not. Maybe they are there, watching you from distances. Scary isn't it? but it is the reality you cannot run away from.

 I'm so used to feeling like an outsider and that is just the way I like it. Sometimes, I just can't ind anyone to get along with because most of the time I am more comfortable mixing around with my usual faces. I can hardly explain types of person I usually get along with. It usually happens without I realize. But just to be clear, I do get along pretty well with most people I know but still, I find it weird or maybe more to awkward to hangout with someone you barely talk to. sooooo yeahhhhhhh. 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Dear God (':

"If I were given a second chance
to fix everything
everything that has been done in life
first I'll choose not to have second chance
because so far Im quite happy with what I am now
everything seems okay
besides the holes here and there
oh well I still standing strong
Alhamdulillah I still have both my parents
complete set of my siblings
For now thats what I want to live with
Without them God knows where will I be now
Couldn't ask for more
but if I could I'll ask for an instant knowledge
something that I am really good with
That can multiple my money with it
and spend a lot for my family
I really want to be someone useful
someone that can make my parents proud
someone that every parents want their child to be
For now still long way to go
I need to motivate self to be strong
to be strong to go all the way up
Insyallah one day
one fine day I'll be someone big"

                                                                                                                        - Najmie Zamrose

Sunday, March 17, 2013

untitled


"I know
you and I 
are not about poems or
other sentimental bullshit
but I have to tell you
even the way
you drink your coffee
knocks me the fuck out."

   - Clementine von Radics

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Self Advice

 Everyday I wake up feeling grateful that God still lend me a day to live my life on his earth. This might sound cliche, but really I am  glad that I still have time to do whatever I want. I just hope that by the time I'm old enough, I won't regret so much of my life. To convince myself is a lot harder than to give advise to my friends.That's what they say, sometimes we never listen to the advice we give to others.

"Be humble...be humble...be humble..Despite what people said, stay humble and you'll succeed  in life" 

That's what I've been saying to myself. No matter who we are, where we stay, what position we hold, always remember not to brag and self proud about it. For now I am nothing but who knows someday I might be someone big, someone who will lead everyone. By that time, I hope I'll remember my own advice and be good to everyone. I know it is not easy to please everyone but as long as I am able to please important people in my life, that will be good enough.

"If you can't make someone happy, at least don't be the one behind their sorrow"

Yes, no one is responsible to keep one happy, but at least don't make it worst for them. Once in a while, I tend to feel at the lowest point of my life ( well everyone does I guess) . I don't really share my problems with people. MY PROBLEM IS THAT. I don't think that we should burden others with our shitty live coz I bet they have their own shitty life either. So yeah, why bother to share? haha. Basically I don't mind keeping it to myself and I know I'm the one who can solve self problems. Sharing might ease the heart but it wouldn't help to solve it. 

I can be a good listener but don't expect me to treat you as how other listener treat everyone. I don't really know how to calm someone when they are mad, be sweet when they need it or give them what they want to listen. Instead I give them what they need to know. It might sound harsh but at least they know the truth. K bye !

HEELLLLOOOOO

If someone care enough to ask me what I miss the most in life, I would totally answer them with 'I miss writing. Damn, I MISS WRITING!'. With no doubt, I'll answer them that. First and foremost, it's been a while since the last time I write something with passion. Anyone with the ability to write fancy words that make sense is very lucky. Because people like me, we don't have that advantages. I write whatever that crossed my mind. I love sharing my experiences with people but sometimes I just don't know how to put it up in words. 
Oh well moving on....Basically there are much that have been gong on in my life. Finally, I'm in my last semester of Diploma in Melaka. Believe it or not, as much as I hate to be here (sometimes) but I'm glad that there are few things that I have counted on to motivate me to stay. By this, I mean my dear families, my annoyingly cute friends, and some names that I could only mention in my mind. They are my sources of happiness, determination, motivation and whatnot. Truth to be told, Im not the easy type to get attached to someone, so when I have one, I'll stick to them. For now they are those people I've mentioned above. Life has been pretty much awesome with them around. thru ups and down, they never fail to entertain me in a different way. For that I thanks Allah for letting me know them and grow up with them (: