Owned By

My photo
Brace yourself to take a deep dive of my thoughts which involve different waves of emotions. I rarely write these days. Partly because I try hard not to embrace my inner demon and also I have my other online diary which happens to be my twitter. Here is when I wish to write more than 140 characters. I ain't no Lang Leav, but we sure share the same emotions. ;) email me at najmiezamrose@yahoo.com

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

3 Fesyen Baju Terkini To Suit Your Style

The fashion industry is always booming with new designs of apparel every season and sometimes it will be difficult for the fashionistas to keep track. For the fashion lovers who want to know what the latest fashion trends in the market are these days, there are 3 fesyen baju terkini for women.  The first fashion clothing that every woman can see glamming up the windows of retail shops is party dresses. Before, party dresses are known to be a choice for women who live an extravagant lifestyle. However, nowadays there are many dinner event and private parties that women are invited to attend. The fashionable ladies will definitely buy a piece or two stylish party dresses instead of the typical little black dress to flaunt in front of others.

The next latest clothing for women this season is cropped jackets. Jackets are seen to be one of the fashion items women chooses to perk up their outfit for an improved yet effortless look. Cropped jackets can be worn by women to the office, on a date, a casual day out or event on vacations looking gorgeously chic. Women can pair it with a nice skirt, shorts or even jeans as cropped jackets are versatile to style.

Lastly, the palazzo pants are gaining a huge attention from ladies of all age as it has that touch of femininity, chic and casualness. Women can wear it to various occasions without ever feeling out of place or even out of style. Match it with a blouse, short, t-shirt or even a tank top and you will have that easy-going yet mature look. Interested ladies who cannot wait to get these 3 latest apparels should check out ZALORA as it offers a wide range of latest trends for women to purchase online.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Favourite people

That mix feelings you have when the final semester is about to end and you realized so is your time to spend with the people you are already attached with. After this, life will be much different from what I have experienced. The very best part of my degree is the people I got to live with. I must say, they are among the best people I have ever met. They were never my close friends back in diploma even though we came from the same campus back in Lendu, except for Najieha. Surprisingly we managed to build a very close friendship with each other more than I ever expected. They are the kind of people I would stay awake even after a tiring day just to have our chit chat session. The conversation can be quite draggy but who cares? I mean, most of the time we share about the things we did on the day and talked about stupid things (none related to other people). I don't even care if we have to share the small bed together just to talk with each other. These people are the people that give me so much happiness in degree life. They can be annoying at times but I am annoying as well, so nobody is complaining about anyone being annoying. I hope they didn't do that behind my back? :p Oh man, I'm sure going to miss them the most especially my annoying roommate. There will be no more pillow talks, no more being rascal together, no more my complain buddy, no more my loyal listener, no more exchanging clothes, no one to bully....I can go all day listing all the fun things we usually do but it will be never ending list. I don't wanna sound so gay but man..
I'll miss those things.Tahi lah. 
You know, leaving diploma was not hard for me because I knew i'll be seeing the same people again in degree but now, it will be such an emotional thing to do to leave degree later (I can see future). You know you won't be able to have all these anymore because there will be no more of these after this. FAHAM TAK?! After this everyone will go separate ways hoping to meet again in the working environment. But even so, that will still be different because you will only see each other maybe once a week and that if only everyone is working in the same field. No more coming home shouting to each other or cooking dinner together or singing with annoying pitch and tones together and no more random mamak sesh with these people. What if everyone migrated elsewhere than in Malaysia. Oh damn, this thing about leaving degree is such a hard thing to deal with. Why do I have to meet the fun bunch and have to leave them later. I hope, I will still able to meet them whenever I want to after this. I will always pray the best for them as they are the best of the best people in life. And I am sorry if I said harsh words but you know I mean those words in a good way. I admit that I am mean sometimes but never in my intention to hurt anyone's feelings. I just had to say what was in my mind and I am no good in giving fancy or sweet words. Maybe I am just poor in choosing the right words to say. Okay sorry. So yeah, thank you for always cheering my days up guys. Love love. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Life has been nasty lately. So many things to be done in a very short period. And I am still trying my best to juggle between assignments. Ignore the dark circles and crappy face when you see me because I don't bother to look at my very best when so many things running on my head (excuses huh). Assignments as usual, pilling up during the final week and stealing my sleeping time away from me. The only time I have to rest my head is during the gap between classes and only if I am lucky enough. Who am I to complain when those are my responsibilities as a student. I applied for these so shut up Najmie ! and start minimize the burdens. On the bright side, it helps me to distract myself from unnecessary thoughts. Going home every weekend is a must or i'll go insane locking myself inside the room. Okay maybe I am exaggerating on that part but really, most of the time I'll be in front of my laptop trying to settle few things one by one. as well as trying to get myself together by watching funny videos or watching runningman. Sad life I know. As for now, I am counting days to end all the shit loads and have some free time, hanging out with my close friends, laying all day on bed because those are the things that usually make me happy. For now, I just have to deal with all the pressures and pretend I am still working normally. till then....chow...

Monday, December 8, 2014

I should have known better problems won't go away unless you fix it. But in my case, I don't have the guts to settle my problems. Not that I don't want to but I've been trying many ways to fix it but still its there and I just have to pretend like it is not bothering me. I know some people may say I am looking very peaceful but God knows how many things I have to endure in one time. Alhamdulillah family and close friends are very supportive and always there to listen to me. Typical me, I would rather ignore the feelings than talking about it again and again. I know the only way for me to be better is to forgive and forget. But until now I am not able to do that. I don't even know why. I am so full of anger and disappointment. If only I don't control my emotion, I would have killed a person or maybe more. 

It is nearly the end of the semester, the thought of ending my final semester is all in one.  I am happy that I can finally escape from this shitty Shah Alam but at the same time I'll be leaving the place where I found awesome people in my life. In fact, the people here remind me so much on the real value of friendship. Some of the people here have been with me since forever and some for only a short period but they have been like a family to me ever since. Thank God for letting these people into my life. As much as a bitter person I am, they still accept me and always there so be my back bone here in Shah Alam. I don't have to mention their name here, enough to let people know how much I appreciate these people in life. Buttttt at the same time I am not fond of staying much longer here with all the things happening around me. I can't even tell what makes me feel all these discomfort, but really, I wish I don't have to go through all these much longer. You know what, just get me out of here. End.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

All I ever wanted to do is to travel the world. I may be far from my goal,
 but I am surely getting there. Slowly but Insya Allah someday
I will prove to myself that I am far more better than what I am now. 
To travel for me is not to shop but rather enjoy the scenery and
 learn cultures in different countries. I want to travel to places 
with mountains and rivers, surrounded with many different people 
and places I am not familiar with. I want to find a job that will take me to places 
I never thought I would reach. I know to have all I need to give extra efforts
 and it will surely stress the hell out of me. 
But if that what it takes to be where I aim myself to be, then be it.
 I have realized, waiting for someone to take you to somewhere 
you want to go will never get you anywhere. It has always been you and yourself. 
Depending on someone will make you unable to see your real capability, 
it wastes your time while waiting for other people. 
For that, I'll be the girl that gets want she wants with her own way. 
By hook or by crook I will make myself proud of me.
 Okay, maybe that is too much of self-obsessed, but what the hell,
 that is just how things work nowadays. Go Najmie go ! okay enough..

Sunday, November 30, 2014

hate letter

Never in my life have I encountered such a pathetic human being. I hope you won't suffer the same way I did. I hope you'll be better than what I'm expecting you to be. I hope someday you'll realize that it is bad to make fun of someone's heart. You should learn to start doing what you preached. Because you disgust me with all the things you portrayed to people. You should be successful in the future as you have no shame. No shame at all. I am glad I am able to remove such a parasite from ruining more of what left in my 2014 memories.  No thanks to you. Please. You are never a joy in my life. I don't even know where you came from that you are suddenly playing such a big role in this hating scene. Please know that I have no fun knowing people like ya'll. Hate maybe a strong word to be used but I am definitely, surely, strongly hate people of your kind. The most selfish, fucking venom, heartless, shameless, brainless and all of the above. Nothing you can do to change my mind and the filthy way I am looking at you now. You're so mean you don't even think of the consequences of your doings. You only do what you feel like doing without thinking what harm it may gives to the people around you. You have no shame at all to share things you are not supposed to. Don't you have feelings? I mean how could you appeared to be such angelic but truth is you are just another little bitch. Sorry for being rude but I cannot help it. I have to admit I have so much hate for you. Good luck in life. I hope you'll realize one day. sigh

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Bad luck Nemmy

What could be worse than two fevers in the same month? I don't know if it's only me or eveyone else is also struggling with the same issue. The combination of bad cough, runny nose and heavy head is making me sick to even go to the toilet. And not to forget, my itchy sickenin throat. I already sound like a boy on normal days, and now I sound like a boy struggling during early stage of puberty. Not funny tho. I sound even funnier each time I'm trying to call for someone nearby. Sigh. I guess the indecisive weathers could be one of the reasons of my condition. I just recovered from the previois fever and now I am again, down with the same symptoms. May Allah bless me. 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Emotional post

Maybe I was a fool for letting myself down with the wrong person, but the person sure is dumber for destroying the trust I had in him/her. For letting me down, that person sure deserves a crown. The amanah I gave that not many can get, simply trashed into something meaningless. Sorry for being not good enough. If I were to choose again I am sure wouldn't even try to give it a second try. I would rather keep my option open and be called heartless as what I've been named before. Now that I've been fooled, just gotta move foward stronger and be tougher. Not many know my stories as I prefer not to share my privacy (as what I call my life is) with people. Alhamdulillah there are only a few kind hearted people care enough to break my ego and listen to me. I thank God for keeping those people close to me. They most probably don't have any idea how much important they are in my life to keep myself sane, but God knows. Allah Maha Mengetahui. For that I always believe that I should focus my life with the supportive people around me and keep my distance from getting hurt by any chances. Thank you loved ones for always being there for me. You guys should know I love and appreciate your presence for good and bad times. 

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Thank you God for....

You know you don't usually have the chance to tell someone what you really feel because of certain issues. It might be trust issue or not good in sharing or fail to express or might be on other issues. Those things have always been my issues. Not only one but all of those mentioned. For years I have learnt to keep everything to myself or talk to myself and if it is already too much to keep, I talked to Him. I tell Him the stories I knew He knows. Alhamdulillah, it helps me a lot. More than I can ever tell. Somehow I feel that I am more comfortable talking to myself rather than tell stories to the other person that might not know how to respond to me since I am a very weird kid, that I must say. But the point is, now I am glad that I am more open with my close friend. To tell things I don't tell others because finally I found a person I can share my stories with. Not trying to be sweet here but really, I can talk to this particular person almost about everything and still feel okay with it. Well, it is true, it feels good to be able to share your problems with the right person. Most of the time I don't expect for a feedback or whatsoever, I just needed to talk. So that is what we always do. Just talk, exchange some stories before bedtime. In a way it helps us to know each other better. Sometimes, it is so embarrasing to be very fragile and open with someone, because to be honest I don't like people seeing me weak or in other word, brokenhearted but it also helps me to put my ego aside. So yeah, I believe I am now a better person as I have successfully taught myself to share my personal thing with people around (only one or two selected people only) me. Thank you God for granting me these kind people. So yeah. Okay. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I really really liked you but you didn't even know. If only you knew, we can be together forever. I promise I'll be a girl for you and still be a guy for other friends. But that is only, if you knew. But you didn't and I just gotta stay masculine till the day you figured it out that I will and can only be feminine for you. You lost something you didn't know you had. Our lost. Now I shall be masculine as always. 

Sunday, October 26, 2014


Emotional reading material. Do not read, you'll puke !

So yeah, here I am about to write some pathetic essay about my pathetic relationships I have with people around me. Let it be romantic relationship, friendship or bloodship (is that even a word?). I don't know if I am any good in any of that listed ships. I guess I don't easily go along very well with people but once I'm comfortable, I wouldn't mind to spare some time for these people. Sadly, Im always stuck with false hope relationships. and yet people still ask me the same question "why are you very secretive?" "why can't you trust me?" whattt?! It's because the things I have experienced that turned me into this. oh k....

I know I am not the type of girl people would date and I am okay with that. But people always mistaken me with the one who goes around dating every guy. Bitch, I'm not even hot to start with. And I am not even good with words or body gestures to be that attractive or flirty. Guy friends, maybe but not more than that. Some of them even call me their bro. Yes, like the rest of the other people, I've been bro-zoned by many people. But that is not the issue here. Never was.

You know, sometimes too many friends equals to, too many enemies. Maybe that is why I have a very small circle of people. You'll see me with the same group of people every time. There are only a few people I can really rely on. And also because people leave. Whenever I am close to someone or getting comfortable with them, they'll leave without telling me why. It is always the same excuse "no I did not leave you, maybe you are over-thinking it" oh please, tell me again I am wrong..

Okay, it is hard for me to understand, why people try so hard to gain someone's trust just to break them at the end? Is it fun to make fun of people who trusted you? Is it satisfying to make people believe with empty promises? Shit I can't brain this insanity. Truth is, what's in my mind is greater than what I have written. Far greater than what I have spoken. My mind has a mind on its own. damn you mind ! 

Its three fucking am in the morning. I need to sleep. My devilish mind is keeping me awake. oh no. 
Here's to everyone that has no interest in holding grudge to anyone. Oh well, as we grow up, we meet many kinds of people from the kindest to the meanest. I have come to a point of life where I refuse to let other people's judgments shape my mind. We can't avoid the habit of judging and also judgmental people. The best thing to do is to let them say whatever they want because we all do that, we all judge people from the first meeting without really knowing the person (sorry).
 Anyway, back to my first point, grudge. You know, whenever people hurt us emotionally or physically but we are incapable of fighting back, it hurts. It will automatically mark a scar in the heart for keeping it to ourselves. It makes us not to forgive the person who caused us the trouble and teach us to hold vengeance, which is a very negative thing to do. 
 As for me, I often teach myself not to let people hurt me that way. I would prefer to settle things once in for all. I really think it is unhealthy to let yourself keep the anger or grudge within you. It will eventually eat you inside and make you unhappy. I am now teaching myself to look for things that can bring me happiness instead of thinking about the things I regret or the things I should have done in the past. Truth is, I can't change my past,not that I don't want to but nobody can. So might as well I give my best for the present that will determine my future.
Hopefully whenever I apologize to someone for my mistakes, they will forgive me and no longer mad at me for I may have hurt them in a way I don't realize. 

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Finally I come out positively..

I have learnt that no matter how many days of hardship I have to go through, it takes only one brighter day to make me move on from the bitter chapter. I have always been a negative person that tries so hard to be positive. Now I can't tell if I am a positive or a negative person. I have created my own version of split personality in which I can be kind at one point but suddenly change into a horrible person when something trigger me. Believe me, everyone has that moment in life when they just feel like shutting down from the world and hate everyone. No? Okay maybe it is only me. 

I taught my self to be tough and to walk away from anything that no longer serves its main purpose to me. It is easier that way. It is not like I am running away but more like, "you know what, this thing is going no where, so I had enough it is time for me to walk away". When you need to stop, you just have to stop from being carried away. I read somewhere it tells me that when you meet a person it can only be two reasons. It could be for a lesson or a blessing. Either one, it will change a part of your life. 

Having my dear friends and family is more than enough for me to grow stronger each day. What more could I ask for when I already have the greatest companies in university and greatest family to support me throughout the days. These people are the reason that keep me going on. Struggles and sleepless nights are normal things to me already. In fact, it has turned into my habit to sleep very late at night. Maybe because I always do things on the very last minute. The lesson that I have never learnt. On top of everything, I am still trying to keep myself busy, distracting myself from remembering things that are not supposed to be remembered. For all you know, the somber days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and finally it is already the end of the semester. Yayyy end of story. 

My deterioration in writings....

I wonder if people still blog these days. You know, sometimes when you can no longer see people updating their blog and you barely write anything on your blog, blogging seems so undesirable. For me, I would occasionally write whenever I feel like writing and most of the time I'll write during night hours because that is the only perfectly quiet time to write. Sometimes I just feel like writing about what I was like during my younger days. But then again, I would prefer to verbally tell you those stories because it will take hours for me to finish. Maybe someday I can write a book about myself (if only anyone is interested to know) HAHA. 

Blogging has never been so much fun compared to the day when I first started blogging. The only device I had, to go online, was my dad's laptop which most of the time will be kept with him. I have to quietly tip-toed into his study room to take his laptop and take it to my room. I only had few hours to go online before dawn, because that was when his alarm will wake him up. Not once that I can remember I was caught using his laptop. It was the old school notebook, but very useful for me at that time. 

Now with too many social medias, blogging is no longer interesting to some people. Except for the place to spread cheap rumors or as gossiping sites. Pathetic, I know. But that is what blogs serve for nowadays. I don't think anyone would read my blog because mostly I only talk about myself. Just like what is written on my top page. More like my personal diary but at the same time it is open for anyone to read. But I am still trying to fix my writing skill as it becomes more harder than it seems. The more I learn to write, the more mistakes I make. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Letter to the authority, perhaps?

You know the best place to find weird people? The public transport ! In my case it got to be the train or to be exact, the KTM. Because most of the time, I'll take KTM (not by my choice) to travel to places. If you wanna see the real people living in your country, go take a ride on the train. You'll meet the most unexpected species of human there. The numb-nuts, the douche, the selfish prick, the good guy, the most charming people, the most bitter look and etc...You'll be surprised with what you are living with. The fun part is when you meet random people you can talk to while waiting for the train. Just a simple empty conversation. But most of the time, you'll prefer to put your ear piece on and not to give a damn about the surroundings. 

I had to travel to work using the KTM and it was no fun at all. Most of the time, I had to wait more than half an hour for the train which costed me waste of a lot of time. But to be honest, KTM helps me a lot during my working days.  I am glad that they have the ladies coach for the safety of the ladies. But when you are travelling during the peak hours, those divided coaches will not be able to separate the ladies with the men. And it will be nasty and sticky, that I can ensure you. I always wonder what it feels like to travel with train in other place. I mean, other people in other country seem to appreciate their public transports more than the Malaysian do. Maybe because of the punctuality of the public transports. Unlike the one we have here and yes I am complaining :p Still hoping that one day they'll upgrade their services which will give people like me a more convenience transport. Okay maybe I'll write to the authority someday...

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Self reminder

Do not let people control your life. Do what you wanna do. Think of your own consequences and if you are all aware of the risks and don't mind to fail, go ahead. Stop letting people influenced your mind with their perceptions and their "i think you...". Just in case you are having doubts with your decision, ask only one person that you can really trust and rely on. I can't tell you the person because it may be different from my type of shoulder to cry on.  The person that will make you feel better about yourself. The person that helps you to clear the path and not the person who makes path for you. Always have faith in yourself and know your limit. Do not always stay in your comfort zone and as well as not to go beyond what you are capable of. Unless if you are trying to challenge yourself in a good way. I am suddenly writing this is to convince myself that, at the end of the day, the decision is yours and it is your right to decide your own path. You can take the path that is less taken or maybe you want to follow the crowd. It all depends on you. You may come to a point in live where everything is just wrong and you seem to regret all the decisions you made, but get yourself together. Pick yourself up. Coz if you don't, nobody will and you will be drifted away in regrets. So yeah wtv... 

Monday, September 29, 2014

Stupid little things

People always say that I am a boy stuck in a girl's body but truth is they know nothing. I am not even that. I am just a girl that wants to be treated like a respectable lady, not just "those kind of girl" but instead I wanna be "that girl". I swore myself not to lower my standard just to be with a guy that only brings me down. I am aware that the prettiest girl get the most hearts, but that is alright because I don't want many hearts...all I ever wanted is to share with only one soul. That would be enough for me. One soul that won't make me feel like I am competing with other girls just to grab his attention. No I can't, I am a loser when it comes to competing or winning someone's heart. I wish someday I'll be with someone who can ensure me that I'll not lose him to other girls. 

Just like other girls, I love the attention, the love, the appreciation, the pat on the head, goodbye kisses or what so ever. But not now. Not until I finally found the only guy. Because you might call me the lame girl, but truly I only believe in true love only after marriage. What's the point of spending so much time together, share too much feelings with someone who are not yet yours?

It would be a lie, if not once I envy those people who spend time and do everything together but come to think of it, I should envy more on those happily married couples. They can do whatever they want because the one in front of the is surely theirs already. Isn't that lovely to be able to pour all the feelings onto someone you will spend the rest of your life with. Oh well.

Hopefully someone out there is meant for me....

Friday, September 5, 2014


This ain't just ordinary blog...

This blog has always been like a journal to me. I'm opening myself here like an open book. Not to let everyone knows, but to let it all out. Doesn't matter if no one is reading because what really matter is I am able to find a way to express the feelings that feel like the pain in the ass. I used to write letters to sum up my problems and later will burn it all up. But due to the current environmental awareness campaign, I have stopped. So here I am writing everything not to be judged but again, simply because I found peace by doing this. 

And yes I did try this "buddy system" where you find someone to talk to but you know, people sometimes don't respond the way you want them to. Most of the time, I just want someone to share my problem with because talking to myself might seems awkward, but some advises are not acceptable. No offence to anyone, just my personal thought. In here, I get to say what I want to say without worrying about hurting anyone's feeling. Unless if they read this and assumed that I wrote anything related to them. Because really I don't. So yeah. That's for now.

everybody has those days....

One day, I just like to sit and figure out what type of person I really wanna be. Am I those people who care more for themselves or more for other people. BUT I don't want to be neither both. Can I be the best out of both people? I don't want to look selfish or neither am I want to look foolish. But how is that even possible. I am no good in making decisions. Whatever I decided, will always turn out to be bad for me or people around me. I have always living in a dilemma. 

I want to do good with people but I have a very low tolerance with people. They can't stand me, I can't stand them, then it is time for any of us to leave. That is one thing about it. I let people come and go as they wish to do. I unintentionally hurt people every time they come close. Like every fucking time. So the only way to avoid that from happening is to keep my distance away from people which I fail to do. I believe sometimes we just wanna be alone and to which I can relate because I have always enjoy my time alone but truth is, that is the time where my mind runs wild. In which sometimes will affect my emotion, my imbalance emotion. Done.

Question :

Why am I always the one to be hurting people?

The funny thing is I have no intention of doing so but I am always the one to be blamed. Anyone care to tell me if I did anything wrong that everyone keeps on turning their back from me? I have no power or neither do I have anything to stop anyone from leaving but people keep on walking away from me. Damn you feelings, why do you even care to appear now. 

I've been trying to control the situation when everything is just wrong and falling apart. Presumably, everyone might have their own problems but mine it seems like they are never going to end. One after another. Gosh I don't even know where to start or what's my point anymore. 

People might not notice it, but it is proven that physical or emotional damage can change people into someone different. The proof? Let's just take a moment and look at our surrounding. Aren't those bullies are people who were once bullied in school? May be yes, because they took the easy way out to prevent from being bullied again. (mula merepek) But surely, different people have different problems. In my case, the only valid solution is to suck it up and deal with it. True. So stop it Najmie. 

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Finding serenity

Isn't it weird that I am a human but I also hate the other human. It's like I don't belong to any group of people. I am just an outcast that need to isolate myself from other human (my family excluded) . I can't wait to actually being able to stop depending on others. I need to find my happiness. The reason why I've been talking about happiness since the past few days is because I am yet to find my happiness. I try to keep myself positive but truth is I am the most negative person and that is bad. It is eating me from the inside. The more thinking I do, the worst it gets. Sometimes it is like I've bitten more than I can chew. I am trying too hard to fake it but it is not helping me at all to feel better. Thank God for granting with time to write my heart out. At least time won't judge me for things I feel.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

What about humanity these days. Is it no longer applicable in the world we are living now?

 I am sad. Sad knowing the truth of what is happening around the world. Sad for not being able to help the unfortunate people in Gaza, my dear Muslim sisters and brothers. I feel sorry for them, for being in such an unfair war. How they are being treated or to be exact, tortured every single day. Over 300 Palestinians have been killed, 77% of them are civilians, a quarter of them are children. Over 2200 have been injured and more than 2000 homes destroyed. I wish I could be there with them not to witness the massacre but to help them, to help them in any ways possible. Either spiritually or physically. My heart is aching to do something about it. Of course, doa is the most powerful weapon but still I haven't done anything much to help them. I know if I were to be there, I won't bare the sight I'll be seeing. The pictures are enough to show the world what it is like in Gaza right now. What do you expect, being bombed from all over places, sea/air/ground. They have no where to escape. I know I am not that strong to face the life of innocent children being left alone, being separated from their parents, sitting next to their dying parents, dead bodies everywhere, and more extreme sights. But, I wanna do something. I wanna do something about it. And the world too should do something. This isn't about religion or country, this is about the death of innocent people. Writing this up wouldn't bring any benefits either, I know, but I just need to voice out my opinion. But who cares right? Who cares about an opinion coming from a commoner right? Sigh.

But this isn't the end. We Muslim knows, the world isn't the last stop. Allah knows better.

P/s : If anyone knows how I can participate in any mercy team to Gaza, do tell me. Because I would love to take part and help. Thank you.

Friday, July 18, 2014

All in all

In the world of many people, none of us are the same. That is how precious a person can be. So why waste time and let other people downgrading us with their words and treatment? If you are not happy, GO and walk away. Never let anyone takes you for granted. Let yourself be appreciated and appreciating. 

I want to be surrounded with positive people. People who won't blame other people for shitty things that happened to them. Instead, they figure out ways to overcome it. When people make promises, the chances of them breaking those promises are big. So it is real when they say you can never trust anyone. 

 "I'm aware of what you are going through. If you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me" Where else can you hear that from rather than those people who truly loved you. All of my life, I had devoted to try my best not to cry in front of anyone. I just had to clench my teeth and look up while holding up my tears. I don't want people to see I'm sad neither do I want to make them feel sorry for me. Everyone has their own problem or maybe problems to deal with. So why should I be such a burden to them. "I'm a tough child, I can do this on my own". Thus, I tell that to myself. 

Maybe I should treasure my life and appreciate what have been given to me by God and cherish all the sweet moments I already have in life. There are times, bitter path is the only option left, but don't let it stops you from going any further in life. Maybe the right time will come. Or maybe you just have to force it to come...Soo yeah..

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Do me a favor, can ho?

Am I the only one who still writes on blog nowadays? Coz girl, I can't seem to find the blogs I used to visit back in those days. Maybe my friends found new ways to voice out their emotions/opinions unlike me, I am still here crying my heart out coz nobody is capable of listening to my rant. Yes I am a complicated child. I find it so easy to heal my heart whenever I write it out despite the poor grammar and long explanations. Anyway, I need something good to read coz ya know, my english is somehow gettin' rusty and disgusting. So, if anyone can suggest me few blogs that are inspiring or good for readings, I would appreciate. Please and thank you with smiley !

Take a break

Yes, finally...semester break. Just what I needed the most. Back on my bed, my room, my comfort zone. It has been months since the last time I really had a chance to waste time on bed, reading the never ending english novels and waking up late in the afternoon. Doesn't matter how many hours I've been wasting, still I can lay on bed doing nothing with my evil phone and not worrying on assignments and deadlines. I know it may sound very unhealthy, but I can't have these once I'm back in my uni. I have always enjoy my "me" time where I get to do things I wanna do without pressure and without people asking me to. This is my happiness. 

Back in my uni, I was certainly unhappy with what I was doing.  Maybe I am happy but the again, I am good at faking it also. Don't really know what to feel. And also I was unsure of what I want or not sure if I made the right decision on everything. At some point I was totally lost and all I ever needed was to find someone to talk to. But Najmie being Najmie, I chose to keep things to myself and act nothing about it. I just held it in. Well I survived ! :D

I know if I put a little more effort in everything I do, I would be on the top of my life right now. But no, I was not clever enough to decide that for myself. I was very good in giving advises I forgot that I needed those for myself as well.  I know what I should have done only when everything is too late. Boo me..I know right? Oh then again, life goes on. Now can we all just take a break and enjoy the semester break. More things are coming. This is only the beginning of being what so called young adult. Kbai.

Friday, July 4, 2014

like helloo

Never been in a relationship does not mean the person knows nothing about it. Sometimes when you have seen too much, you tend to avoid things that are unnecessary in life. 
I've been getting a lot of "kau tau apa Nemmy,  you never had a boyfriend before". "Bitch, I wouldn't date people just to get the title of being someone's girlfriend"....
People kept saying that to me as in relationship gets better from one relationship to another. Like hello, I am not blind and neither am I stupid. 
I'm trying to skip those chapters where I have to meet few guys before I met the one. No I don't need that. I observe almost everything around me. 
Many times I chose to keep observing and teach myself not to get into some dramatic life where everyone is expecting something from someone. 
I chose my life path. I chose to be alone. I still have my family 
and few friends that treat me like how I want to be treated. 
I appreciate those people who were there for me and are still here for me. I know myself and I do not need anyone to know me better, just stop expecting me to 
be something that I am not.  I am a 22 years old grown
 up who has a lot more to treasure and long term goals I need to achieve. 
It would be great to have someone to help you along the way, 
but if I'm better off solo, Insya Allah that won't stop me. 
Trust me, I ain't easy to be someone who looks strong on the outside.
 People tend to mistaken you as rude and heartless, but the truth is I only have  myself to rely on and I only trust myself on that. 

Sunday, June 22, 2014




Thursday, June 5, 2014


Life does not always go the way we planned it to be. Most of the time it chooses the bitter path rather than the life-everyone-wanted. Been there experienced that. Many times. I don't know if I am able to handle any damn dramas, bullshits and etc nymore. As I get older, I'm expecting to meet matured kind of people but then, again, I am wrong. The people are still the same, the shits are still there, in fact, multiplying and relationships start to grow further. It is somehow sad I am still insecure to share my feelings, scared to make friends and too damn hard to trust people with my stories. 

There are nice people around me but how long can I depend on them? how long will they be there for me? how much can I trust them not to be apart from me? Those are the questions that keep bothering me. The more I keep it to myself, the more painful it gets. Laugh at me while you're reading this. But this is the only way I could let a bit of my trapped feelings go away. 

I just wish for a more sincere people in this world. A friend that will always be with you through ups and down, the partner that understands you even when you are being complicated. Because most of the time, I myself can't figure out what I want and what makes me act in certain ways. Have to admit that I have a huge ego but you can't reply ego with ego. Same goes when someone is acting strange and the other person acts shitty just because they do not fancy the treatment they got. You can't be the oil onto the fire. Be the water, calm the other person, give some space but not f leave. But some people don't get that. When they gave that kind of treatment, they'll receive the same treatment in return. 

Life is good when you wisely chose the person to be with. Either for friend or for long term investment. I just hope that someday, somewhere out there, someone will accept me as I am. Able to lower my ego and treat each other equally. Nothing more. It feels good to write. Salam

Monday, April 28, 2014

GOTTA GROW STRONGER EVERYDAY NEMS !! These words keep on lingering on the back of my head. Pounding head...