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Brace yourself to take a deep dive of my thoughts which involve different waves of emotions. I rarely write these days. Partly because I try hard not to embrace my inner demon and also I have my other online diary which happens to be my twitter. Here is when I wish to write more than 140 characters. I ain't no Lang Leav, but we sure share the same emotions. ;) email me at najmiezamrose@yahoo.com

Sunday, July 20, 2014

What about humanity these days. Is it no longer applicable in the world we are living now?

 I am sad. Sad knowing the truth of what is happening around the world. Sad for not being able to help the unfortunate people in Gaza, my dear Muslim sisters and brothers. I feel sorry for them, for being in such an unfair war. How they are being treated or to be exact, tortured every single day. Over 300 Palestinians have been killed, 77% of them are civilians, a quarter of them are children. Over 2200 have been injured and more than 2000 homes destroyed. I wish I could be there with them not to witness the massacre but to help them, to help them in any ways possible. Either spiritually or physically. My heart is aching to do something about it. Of course, doa is the most powerful weapon but still I haven't done anything much to help them. I know if I were to be there, I won't bare the sight I'll be seeing. The pictures are enough to show the world what it is like in Gaza right now. What do you expect, being bombed from all over places, sea/air/ground. They have no where to escape. I know I am not that strong to face the life of innocent children being left alone, being separated from their parents, sitting next to their dying parents, dead bodies everywhere, and more extreme sights. But, I wanna do something. I wanna do something about it. And the world too should do something. This isn't about religion or country, this is about the death of innocent people. Writing this up wouldn't bring any benefits either, I know, but I just need to voice out my opinion. But who cares right? Who cares about an opinion coming from a commoner right? Sigh.

But this isn't the end. We Muslim knows, the world isn't the last stop. Allah knows better.

P/s : If anyone knows how I can participate in any mercy team to Gaza, do tell me. Because I would love to take part and help. Thank you.

Friday, July 18, 2014

All in all

In the world of many people, none of us are the same. That is how precious a person can be. So why waste time and let other people downgrading us with their words and treatment? If you are not happy, GO and walk away. Never let anyone takes you for granted. Let yourself be appreciated and appreciating. 

I want to be surrounded with positive people. People who won't blame other people for shitty things that happened to them. Instead, they figure out ways to overcome it. When people make promises, the chances of them breaking those promises are big. So it is real when they say you can never trust anyone. 

 "I'm aware of what you are going through. If you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me" Where else can you hear that from rather than those people who truly loved you. All of my life, I had devoted to try my best not to cry in front of anyone. I just had to clench my teeth and look up while holding up my tears. I don't want people to see I'm sad neither do I want to make them feel sorry for me. Everyone has their own problem or maybe problems to deal with. So why should I be such a burden to them. "I'm a tough child, I can do this on my own". Thus, I tell that to myself. 

Maybe I should treasure my life and appreciate what have been given to me by God and cherish all the sweet moments I already have in life. There are times, bitter path is the only option left, but don't let it stops you from going any further in life. Maybe the right time will come. Or maybe you just have to force it to come...Soo yeah..

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Do me a favor, can ho?

Am I the only one who still writes on blog nowadays? Coz girl, I can't seem to find the blogs I used to visit back in those days. Maybe my friends found new ways to voice out their emotions/opinions unlike me, I am still here crying my heart out coz nobody is capable of listening to my rant. Yes I am a complicated child. I find it so easy to heal my heart whenever I write it out despite the poor grammar and long explanations. Anyway, I need something good to read coz ya know, my english is somehow gettin' rusty and disgusting. So, if anyone can suggest me few blogs that are inspiring or good for readings, I would appreciate. Please and thank you with smiley !

Take a break

Yes, finally...semester break. Just what I needed the most. Back on my bed, my room, my comfort zone. It has been months since the last time I really had a chance to waste time on bed, reading the never ending english novels and waking up late in the afternoon. Doesn't matter how many hours I've been wasting, still I can lay on bed doing nothing with my evil phone and not worrying on assignments and deadlines. I know it may sound very unhealthy, but I can't have these once I'm back in my uni. I have always enjoy my "me" time where I get to do things I wanna do without pressure and without people asking me to. This is my happiness. 

Back in my uni, I was certainly unhappy with what I was doing.  Maybe I am happy but the again, I am good at faking it also. Don't really know what to feel. And also I was unsure of what I want or not sure if I made the right decision on everything. At some point I was totally lost and all I ever needed was to find someone to talk to. But Najmie being Najmie, I chose to keep things to myself and act nothing about it. I just held it in. Well I survived ! :D

I know if I put a little more effort in everything I do, I would be on the top of my life right now. But no, I was not clever enough to decide that for myself. I was very good in giving advises I forgot that I needed those for myself as well.  I know what I should have done only when everything is too late. Boo me..I know right? Oh then again, life goes on. Now can we all just take a break and enjoy the semester break. More things are coming. This is only the beginning of being what so called young adult. Kbai.

Friday, July 4, 2014

like helloo

Never been in a relationship does not mean the person knows nothing about it. Sometimes when you have seen too much, you tend to avoid things that are unnecessary in life. 
I've been getting a lot of "kau tau apa Nemmy,  you never had a boyfriend before". "Bitch, I wouldn't date people just to get the title of being someone's girlfriend"....
People kept saying that to me as in relationship gets better from one relationship to another. Like hello, I am not blind and neither am I stupid. 
I'm trying to skip those chapters where I have to meet few guys before I met the one. No I don't need that. I observe almost everything around me. 
Many times I chose to keep observing and teach myself not to get into some dramatic life where everyone is expecting something from someone. 
I chose my life path. I chose to be alone. I still have my family 
and few friends that treat me like how I want to be treated. 
I appreciate those people who were there for me and are still here for me. I know myself and I do not need anyone to know me better, just stop expecting me to 
be something that I am not.  I am a 22 years old grown
 up who has a lot more to treasure and long term goals I need to achieve. 
It would be great to have someone to help you along the way, 
but if I'm better off solo, Insya Allah that won't stop me. 
Trust me, I ain't easy to be someone who looks strong on the outside.
 People tend to mistaken you as rude and heartless, but the truth is I only have  myself to rely on and I only trust myself on that.