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Brace yourself to take a deep dive of my thoughts which involve different waves of emotions. I rarely write these days. Partly because I try hard not to embrace my inner demon and also I have my other online diary which happens to be my twitter. Here is when I wish to write more than 140 characters. I ain't no Lang Leav, but we sure share the same emotions. ;) email me at najmiezamrose@yahoo.com

Monday, September 29, 2014

Stupid little things

People always say that I am a boy stuck in a girl's body but truth is they know nothing. I am not even that. I am just a girl that wants to be treated like a respectable lady, not just "those kind of girl" but instead I wanna be "that girl". I swore myself not to lower my standard just to be with a guy that only brings me down. I am aware that the prettiest girl get the most hearts, but that is alright because I don't want many hearts...all I ever wanted is to share with only one soul. That would be enough for me. One soul that won't make me feel like I am competing with other girls just to grab his attention. No I can't, I am a loser when it comes to competing or winning someone's heart. I wish someday I'll be with someone who can ensure me that I'll not lose him to other girls. 

Just like other girls, I love the attention, the love, the appreciation, the pat on the head, goodbye kisses or what so ever. But not now. Not until I finally found the only guy. Because you might call me the lame girl, but truly I only believe in true love only after marriage. What's the point of spending so much time together, share too much feelings with someone who are not yet yours?

It would be a lie, if not once I envy those people who spend time and do everything together but come to think of it, I should envy more on those happily married couples. They can do whatever they want because the one in front of the is surely theirs already. Isn't that lovely to be able to pour all the feelings onto someone you will spend the rest of your life with. Oh well.

Hopefully someone out there is meant for me....

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