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Brace yourself to take a deep dive of my thoughts which involve different waves of emotions. I rarely write these days. Partly because I try hard not to embrace my inner demon and also I have my other online diary which happens to be my twitter. Here is when I wish to write more than 140 characters. I ain't no Lang Leav, but we sure share the same emotions. ;) email me at najmiezamrose@yahoo.com

Sunday, November 30, 2014

hate letter

Never in my life have I encountered such a pathetic human being. I hope you won't suffer the same way I did. I hope you'll be better than what I'm expecting you to be. I hope someday you'll realize that it is bad to make fun of someone's heart. You should learn to start doing what you preached. Because you disgust me with all the things you portrayed to people. You should be successful in the future as you have no shame. No shame at all. I am glad I am able to remove such a parasite from ruining more of what left in my 2014 memories.  No thanks to you. Please. You are never a joy in my life. I don't even know where you came from that you are suddenly playing such a big role in this hating scene. Please know that I have no fun knowing people like ya'll. Hate maybe a strong word to be used but I am definitely, surely, strongly hate people of your kind. The most selfish, fucking venom, heartless, shameless, brainless and all of the above. Nothing you can do to change my mind and the filthy way I am looking at you now. You're so mean you don't even think of the consequences of your doings. You only do what you feel like doing without thinking what harm it may gives to the people around you. You have no shame at all to share things you are not supposed to. Don't you have feelings? I mean how could you appeared to be such angelic but truth is you are just another little bitch. Sorry for being rude but I cannot help it. I have to admit I have so much hate for you. Good luck in life. I hope you'll realize one day. sigh

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Bad luck Nemmy

What could be worse than two fevers in the same month? I don't know if it's only me or eveyone else is also struggling with the same issue. The combination of bad cough, runny nose and heavy head is making me sick to even go to the toilet. And not to forget, my itchy sickenin throat. I already sound like a boy on normal days, and now I sound like a boy struggling during early stage of puberty. Not funny tho. I sound even funnier each time I'm trying to call for someone nearby. Sigh. I guess the indecisive weathers could be one of the reasons of my condition. I just recovered from the previois fever and now I am again, down with the same symptoms. May Allah bless me. 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Emotional post

Maybe I was a fool for letting myself down with the wrong person, but the person sure is dumber for destroying the trust I had in him/her. For letting me down, that person sure deserves a crown. The amanah I gave that not many can get, simply trashed into something meaningless. Sorry for being not good enough. If I were to choose again I am sure wouldn't even try to give it a second try. I would rather keep my option open and be called heartless as what I've been named before. Now that I've been fooled, just gotta move foward stronger and be tougher. Not many know my stories as I prefer not to share my privacy (as what I call my life is) with people. Alhamdulillah there are only a few kind hearted people care enough to break my ego and listen to me. I thank God for keeping those people close to me. They most probably don't have any idea how much important they are in my life to keep myself sane, but God knows. Allah Maha Mengetahui. For that I always believe that I should focus my life with the supportive people around me and keep my distance from getting hurt by any chances. Thank you loved ones for always being there for me. You guys should know I love and appreciate your presence for good and bad times. 

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Thank you God for....

You know you don't usually have the chance to tell someone what you really feel because of certain issues. It might be trust issue or not good in sharing or fail to express or might be on other issues. Those things have always been my issues. Not only one but all of those mentioned. For years I have learnt to keep everything to myself or talk to myself and if it is already too much to keep, I talked to Him. I tell Him the stories I knew He knows. Alhamdulillah, it helps me a lot. More than I can ever tell. Somehow I feel that I am more comfortable talking to myself rather than tell stories to the other person that might not know how to respond to me since I am a very weird kid, that I must say. But the point is, now I am glad that I am more open with my close friend. To tell things I don't tell others because finally I found a person I can share my stories with. Not trying to be sweet here but really, I can talk to this particular person almost about everything and still feel okay with it. Well, it is true, it feels good to be able to share your problems with the right person. Most of the time I don't expect for a feedback or whatsoever, I just needed to talk. So that is what we always do. Just talk, exchange some stories before bedtime. In a way it helps us to know each other better. Sometimes, it is so embarrasing to be very fragile and open with someone, because to be honest I don't like people seeing me weak or in other word, brokenhearted but it also helps me to put my ego aside. So yeah, I believe I am now a better person as I have successfully taught myself to share my personal thing with people around (only one or two selected people only) me. Thank you God for granting me these kind people. So yeah. Okay.