"After all, you don't have to be good enough for anyone, Najmie"
The fear of not being good enough for anyone has gotten into me. I have to admit, I've grown up to be a very fickle minded person and indecisive woman. I tend to look into extra details before making any decision. Hence, that makes me over-think most of the time. Sounds like a perfectionist huh? But sadly I am not. I rely too much on myself that I'm becoming obsessed with the idea of not needing anyone to know what I'm going through or anyone to share my happy/sad stories with. That's just pathetic ain't it?
I mean what's the point? I always ended up hurting myself or people around me when I've decided on something. I would normally take longer time to decide but somehow it makes not much difference. I still make less desirable decision. Maybe I'm only good at fucking things up? That happened before not once but too many times that I have lost count.
I believe I see life differently than most people. Reality isn't as sweet as movies and movies are nothing like real life. There are so much pressure having to live the life as how I foresee. I've created so many questions in my head that none can be answered in which will continue to stack up.